So, it appears to be October 7, 2019, it’s been about two months since I “officially” retired. And now I’m unretiring. It wasn’t working out, I didn’t survive the 90 day trial period.
It’s ok. I mean, I wasn’t sure it’d be a good fit anyway. But it did give me time to figure out what it was that I *did* find to be a good fit. Turns out slinging words like a motherfucker is still the thing I’m best built for…
So here we are. I’m back. I hope you bastards are happy.
Why I Came Back
Beside taking an extreme enjoyment in tormenting humanity at large (and having a platform like the entire Internet gives me no lack of space in which to do that), it turned out that I needed some kind of purpose. Who knew that fuckery and debauchery is ACTUALLY a calling?
Immediately upon making the decision to go back to work, I felt better. I felt like there was a reason I existed and a thing for me to do with my many, many crawling hours. The clock stopped being a way to track how many days were left and starting being an opponent again. Not “what am I going to do?” but “how can I do it all?”
I’m not suited to retirement, apparently.
And I think that’s ok. Even if many will say otherwise. Those people can fuck themselves, because they don’t know me. I do what I want!
Is It Life or Existence?
It turns out that being very, very sick is a great way to get a lot of perspective. When you lay staring at a ceiling long enough, you start to drift off on a little raft that only exists in your head. It’s a place where you can do anything, be anybody, and it’s pretty telling. Maybe this is the suburbian version of a vision quest, IDK.
But in that stillness, I didn’t see myself cleaning house and making meals and grocery shopping. I saw myself building websites and dispensing advice and helping people access more and better information.
Sorry, I’m apparently that lame.
Someone has to be. It just turns out it’s me.
Will it be hard?
Sure. This life is nothing but a wild ride of stress and reward.
Will it be fulfilling?
So that’s what I’ve been up to. What’s new with you?